Jun 10, 2013

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It’s not shallow to be shallow.

It’s not shallow to be shallow.

A lot of people tend to have this attitude about bodies and faces. People look at bodies and faces and act as if it’s not equally as important as a person’s mind. This happens in all aspects of people’s attitudes and how they act.
So let’s get this straightened out right now, and read this through to the end.

When people are working or busy in life, they sit there and make these excuses about how they don’t have the time, or the money, to work out and eat healthy. It’s as if watching TV, or hell, even spending time around your friends or even your family is as important as your body. Your physical well-being. This is the vessel you live your entire life through. It will hopefully support your mind and soul for upwards of 80 years — and you don’t have time for it? You can’t find time to take care of your body? To make it look good? To improve it? To challenge it? We talk about how important it is to challenge your mind, but seems as though no one ever talks about challenging your body.

People glorify people for reading books, for studying, for improving their knowledge. That’s great, it’s truly great that people appreciate someone for improving their mind. How come, though, is it so under-appreciated, and so under-rated to improve one’s own body?
You hear it all the time from people outside the fitness community.
“That person spends way too much time in the gym.”
“That person cares way too much about their diet, they should let loose.”
“That person is so shallow for spending so much time on their appearance.”
And it’s sick. We’re living in a society that is increasingly beginning to appreciate the minds of people, their personalities, their hobbies, the person underneath the skin.
We repeat, it’s great that this is happening, but consistently people are becoming less and less appreciative of the bodies that hold those minds. 

For example, it’s kind of messed up that we call people shallow for focusing on someone’s facial attractiveness, or the attractiveness of their body.

Get it through your skull right now that no one earned their mind any more than they earned their appearance.
People talk about beautiful minds and personalities, but the fact remains that there are parts of one’s appearance that can’t be altered, and there are parts of one’s mind that can’t be altered. Some people are born with mental disorders and illnesses. Some people are born with bodily disorders and illnesses. The fact remains that there will be people with personalities you don’t like, and people with bodies you don’t like and there’s no shame in finding either of those unappealing.
Some people are born assholes and some people are born fat.
Some people are born with a genuine kindness in their hearts and some people are born to be shaped like greek gods/godesses.

These are all a part of you. Your upbringing has to do with both the inward and outward aspects of you. Your genetics have to do with the inward and outward aspects of you.

People are attracted to all kinds of things in people: money, power, looks, intelligence, humor, kindness.
Liking one person for just one of these traits is either shallow for any of the traits, or not shallow whatsoever.
If someone is okay with that being the reason someone is attracted to them, then that is okay.

Is it really any better to have someone love you because they love how kind and intelligent you are, but they still think your fat body is disgusting; rather than having someone love you because they think you’re the best looking person on planet Earth, but they think you’re a total bitch?

I, personally, would not at all be okay with someone thinking I’m intelligent or funny and wanting to date me for it if they had an issue with my body. I’ve spent years working on my body to be how I want it, I am proud of my body, and probably won’t ever stop working on it. My body is my personality. My face is a part of me, just as it should be with you.
Don’t tell yourself that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, because what counts are whatever fucking parts that you want to count to someone.

Now don’t get this twisted, this doesn’t mean that you necessarily need to care about your appearance even more, or feel bad that your face isn’t what you want it to look like. The point is to be consistent with your beliefs.
If you wouldn’t say:
“Well yeah that person’s really funny and smart, but she’s fat as all hell.”
Then don’t say
“Well yeah she’s hot and rich, but she’s dumber than a bag of rocks.”
It makes you no better than the people who’ve no doubt insulted you before for whatever reason.

If you feel as though this is bringing you down, because you aren’t attractive, or at least don’t feel that you are, then you’re missing the whole point. The deal is that some people won’t like you if you’re fat or ugly. While that might seem unfair, some people also won’t like you if you’re not funny or smart, or you’re kind of a shitty person. You don’t have to feel obligated to change it, because some people just won’t give a shit.
But if you don’t like that someone doesn’t like you for whatever reason? Change it. Don’t act like they need to change their preferences or value sets for you. It doesn’t make them a bad person for having different priority sets than you.
If you don’t want them to dislike you, just change it. Stop being a shitty person. Learn funny jokes. Watch comedians. Work out. Eat healthy. Even if you just have a plain unattractive face, you’d be amazed at what some good skin care, a slight tan, well-done hair, dental hygiene/improvement, a decent body and nice clothes will do to make you look better.

People can become more attractive, they can work on becoming funnier, smarter, making more money, becoming more powerful, but whatever it is, don’t even begin to think that you’re in any way superior to them just because you’ve decided to work according to a different set of priorities than them.

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